REFLECTIONS: Imperfections drive discrimination

APRIL 2004

When I look in the mirror, I can see the difference my intensive five-week weight-loss plan has made to the roly-poly belly that hides beneath my shirt. I am starting to look more like Brad Pitt than Fat Albert – and it feels great, baby!

My entire life has been spent as a bigger kid. Am I obese? No, not even close, but my physique is not up to par with the beautiful person hiding deep within my soul. Yeah, yeah, I know, you hear that all the time. Unfortunately, as a society we are forced to judge by physical appearance more often than personality traits. This has crafted a world obsessed with exercise, healthy food, and carb cutting. And people are focused more on what’s on the outside than what’s on the inside – sad, but true.

From girlfriends saying, "You would look so much hotter if you lost a few," or girls at the bar turning me down for a drink just because I held a few extra doughnuts in my stomach, I decided it was time to change. It was time to get fit. It was time to get thin. It was time to start living up to the standards placed on me by society.

Jewel has also been a victim to society’s shallowness. I remember when she first embarked on her professional music career, everyone would sing her song, and then when someone would ask who sang that catchy song, "Who Will Save Your Soul," the response would be, "that girl… you know, the one with the tooth." Rather than pointing out her masterful songwriting, the world decided to focus more on her perceived flaw, labeling her as a crooked-toothed singer. Real nice, huh?

Obviously, Jewel took advantage of her power and riches by having that tooth taken care of, thus labeling her a sex symbol rather than the crooked-toothed singer. Had she been known for the brilliant songwriter that she is, and not her outside image, she would have never had to change her appearance to please society.

The same is true for me. Had I not been called "fat ass" for the millionth time, maybe I would have been comfortable in my own skin. I could have stayed at the weight I was. But I needed it to lose it not just for me, but for society.

Nonetheless, I am happy with my new look. I can fit in clothes I only dreamt about and women are approaching me a lot more often. So, maybe there is a bittersweet moral to societies harshness: You better look good, you better make it, and if you work hard enough to get there, you will be happy sitting on top of the mountain – or at least you will have pleased society.

Now, I must say I am not innocent, either. I highly doubt I would approach a bigger girl at a bar, or a girl with a big nose, or awkward legs – simply because I wouldn’t find her attractive, "HOT" if I may. But maybe I would had society not raised me to see imperfections in others. Maybe I would offer to buy a drink for an average girl rather than the one with a perfect chest and hard ass. Had I, and the rest of us, been raised differently by society, then maybe, just maybe, we could have all been created equal.

Cheers!
NP