In a classic "anything you can do, I can do better" stroke of political genius, reportedly John McCain nominated Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin to be his running mate. The goal: fighting the allure of a voting for a traditional political minority with a traditional political minority.

You talk about a chess match. Where candidate Barack Obama went for a prolific foreign policy public servant in Sen. Joe Biden, McCain is accompanying his wealth of experience with someone who has next to no experience.

I’m sure some GOP strategist piped up, “Listen, trust me: do this and you’ll win.” And that person is probably right. What better way to diffuse the appeal of the first ever minority candidate than to add a first of your own.

Nevertheless, the tickets are, alas, set. Thankfully, on either side of the VP ticket: no Mitt, no Hillary. I play my political hand so scarcely, but I will make no qualms about those two: both are next level narcissists that would not mesh with the title "second most powerful person in the world." Mercifully I think we all realize that.

Gov. Palin, by all accounts seems to be the Anti-Hillary: diametrically opposed on all issues, family-oriented, and, so far, not unlikable. Also, if I might add—in interest of full disclosure (and I’m not the first to say it)—she is quite attractive. And if you think that doesn’t matter to voters, you’re naïve.

Proof once again that we, some 45 years after The Dream, still judge each other by the most superfluous criterion. But, at least we’re making progress.

Records:
1. The National – Boxer
2. Angels of Light – We Are Him
3. Grinderman – Self Titled
4. Shellac – Excellent Italian Greyhound
5. M.I.A. – Kala
6. Akron/Family – Love is Simple
7. Jay-Z – American Gangster
8. Gena Rowlands Band – Flesh and Spirits
9. Arcade Fire – Neon Bible
10. Ted Leo & the Pharmacists – Living With the Living
11. Nina Nastasia & Jim White - You Follow Me
12. Radiohead – In Rainbows
13. Richard Swift & The Sons of National Freedom – Dressed Up for the Letdown
14. Various – I Belong to This Band
15. Michael Casmore and Antony Hegarty – The Snow Abides
16. The Brothers Martin – Self Titled
17. Ghostface Killah – The Big Doe Rehab
18. St. Vincent – Marry Me
19. Baby Teeth – The Simp
20. Scott Walker – And Who Shall Go To The Ball? And What Shall Go To The Ball?

Songs:
1. Grinderman – "No Pussy Blues"
2. The National – "Fake Empire"
3. Akron/Family – "I've Got Some Friends"
4. The Arcade Fire – "Intervention"
5. Gena Rowlands Band – "God and the Way Women Walk"
6. Shellac – "The End of Radio"
7. BARR – "Content Ender"
8. The Book of Knots (feat. Tom Waits) – "Pray"
9. St. Vincent – "Now Now"
10. M.I.A. – "Paper Planes"
11. Radiohead – "All I Need"
12. Richard Swift & The Sons of National Freedom – "Artist & Repertoir"
13. Jay-Z – "Ignorant Shit"
14. Baby Teeth – "Diaghalev Was Right"
15. Ted Leo & the Pharmacists – "Some Beginner's Mind"
16. Joy Electric – "The Ushering in of the Magical Era"
17. Kanye West – "The Good Life"
18. Page France – "The Belly in the Fish"
19. Bad Brains – "Give Thanks and Praises"
20. Neon Horse – "Cuckoo"

Shows:
(All shows took place in Chicago, Illinois)

1. Iggy & the Stooges (Lollapalooza) – Grant Park – 08/05
2. Grinderman – The Metro – 07/25
3. Michael Gira – Lakeshore Theater – 11/10
4. Daft Punk, LCD Soundsystem (Lollapalooza) – Grant Park – 08/03
5. The National, St. Vincent – The Vic Theater – 08/22
6. Daniel Johnston – Lakeshore Theater – 05/10
7. Instant Band Party w/ Anathallo – Berry UMC – 04/14
8. Ted Leo & The Pharmacists – The Metro – 04/28
9. Richard Swift & The Sons of National Freedom, White Rabbits – Schubas – 04/24
10. The Nightwatchman – Schubas – 07/12
11. M.I.A., Blonde Redhead (Lollapalooza) – Grant Park – 08/03
12. Page France, Starflyer 59 – Beat Kitchen – 06/29
13. Baby Teeth, Baby Dayliner – Schubas – 03/17
14. TV on the Radio (Lollapalooza) – Grant Park – 08/05
15. Joy Electric – Champs Rock Room – 05/17

Stand up:
1. Todd Barry – The Improv – 01/28
2. Marc Maron – The Improv – 03/09
3. Judah Friedlander – The Improv – 01/04

Films:
1. Grindhouse: Death Proof, Planet Terror
2. Scott Walker: 30 Century Man
3. Black Snake Moan
4. For Your Consideration
5. The Ten
6. Paul Mooney: Know Your History: Jesus Is Black… So Was Cleopatra
7. Danielson: A Family Movie
8. Knocked Up
9. American Hardcore

TV:
1. Weeds
2. Human Giant

The same could not be said for Sunday's lists of artists. Or at least, for one of Sunday's artists. Here's the rundown on all the artists I got a chance to witness:

Juliette and the Licks – Nothing special. Entertaining to see the Natural Born Killers actress perform, sure, but that's about it.

White Rabbits – I saw New York City's White Rabbits earlier this year at Schubas opening for Richard Swift. A couple songs into their set then, I was impressed, but shortly thereafter, forgot about them after seeing Swift's set. Then recently they were on Letterman and I was intrigued once again. I'm not sure if having two drummers necessarily helps them, but they were an amusing band nonetheless.

David Vandervelde – I really wanted to like the guy, but I just wasn't into it. I tried.

Amy Winehouse – She showed up to the stage 10 minutes late more than slightly inebriated (one can only assume) and still managed to end her show a few minutes early. Her band is all men, which has got to be emasculating for all of them whether they know it or not, as talented as they may well be. That said, she played a decent show. Of course, the entire crowd was waiting on their hind legs waiting for "Rehab".

Iggy and the Stooges – Here's a story. The Stooges are undeniably the most important band on the bill this year, if not the most important, influential and dynamic band still active today. It doesn't matter that The Weirdness is nowhere near the brilliance of Fun House or Raw Power; all that matters is that The Stooges are back.

I stayed in the crowd after Amy Winehouse for a solid hour, waiting for The Stooges to take the stage. My patience had managed to get me within two rows of people from the gate located directly in front of the stage.

The band took the stage wasting no time by opening with "Loose" and "Down on the Street" off of Fun House. He would proceed to play the rest of the Fun House record scattered throughout the set.

The Stooges themselves are Iggy Pop on vocals, of course, Ron Asheton on guitar and Scott Asheton on drums. Notorious punk bassist Mike Watt also joined the band for their reunion.

While the Asheton brothers are as rock solid musicians you could ever hope to have in a rock band, Iggy is anything but. I'm not sure anyone could harness the energy that this man has, made all the more remarkable by the fact that he is now in his 60s. Meanwhile, on bass, Watt is in sprawled out on the stage like third baseman fielding a groundball, maintaining a puckered facial expression on every thumping note.

About eight songs in, preceding the performance of "No Fun", Iggy addressed the crowd: he would like the crowd to join him on stage. As the song started, there was a slight hesitance I noticed from the people around me, but I had a feeling that he was serious. At which point I see the middle of the crowd open up and begin rushing the stage. Myself and a handful of others jumped the fence into the security/photographers well and proceeded to run up to the steps to meet The Stooges on the stage. I landed on my elbow as I stumbled over the railing, gathered all of my belongings and proceeded to run towards the steps. Others were just jumping straight on the stage, which was a good 3 feet taller than myself in stocking feet, if not more.

The scene was unbelievable. It was like the absolute inverse of the Titanic. As I am frantically running my way up the steps, a security guard shoved his hand into my chest and said that no more could go up on stage. He instructed me go back down the steps immediately. I decided to push it, and waited on the steps for his attention to be diverted. Fifteen seconds later, I am on the stage between Ron Asheton's Marshall amps and the drum riser.

The song is still going on, and I can't even see Iggy for all the people on the stage. People are mauling him with so much gratitude that you would have thought that he had given them all kidneys. I glance over to see Watt and he still has not broke stride. Likewise Ron Asheton, who is playing some very impressive chops, is now behind his Marshall stacks.

I am pretty sure at this point Perry Farrell is on the side of the stage, laughing and admiring the show, but I honestly could not see for all the people. Behind the amps is saxophonist, Steve MacKay, waiting to play on a couple forthcoming songs. I glance over at him with a look that said, "Do you believe this?" After the song was over, with well over a hundred fans now on the stage, I asked MacKay, "What now?" He smiled and shrugged and directed me to help move people along of the stage.

Being the reasonable person I am, I helped move people off the stage. The Stooges road crew is uncommonly cool about the whole situation; they knew it was coming. Before I leave I made sure to shake Scott Asheton's hand behind the drum set and thanked him accordingly.

After being escorted off the stage, I made my way to the back of the crowd and saw the rest of their truly extraordinary show. By the end, what had culminated was simple: it was without question, the best rock 'n' roll show I've ever seen. And in some unusual way, I was a part of it.

Even now 30+ years past their prime, I honestly don't think you can find a better rock 'n' roll show than The Stooges.

Yo La Tengo – You know what, they played great. It was what I expected, but I truly did not care. You can't follow The Stooges with Yo La Tengo; it just doesn't work.

The Wailers – Talk about a strange series of events. As I am walking past Yo La Tengo's set I see The Wailers performing "No Woman No Cry". I'm lucky I didn't have an aneurysm. Who honestly can go from hearing the entire Fun House record, to Yo La Tengo, to the survived The Wailers playing the best reggae song ever written, in a half-hour time span and not have the cognitive dissonance within to sit down and ponder what implausible events you are witnessing. I needed to rest.

TV on the Radio – Last show of the night for me (no thank you, on Pearl Jam). And TV on the Radio played very admirably. I bet their show, like most other bands, would have been much better played with in the four walls of a club, but that's neither here nor there.

Elvis Perkins in Dearland - first show of the day; ended up being the best (or only) singer/songwriter of the day.

Ted Leo and the Pharmacists - Good, but sullied by the fact that I saw them in April and the setlist was pretty much the same.

Viva Voce - Their show certainly got me more interested in getting their record that came out last year Get Yr Blood Sucked Out.

M.I.A. - Perhaps the best show of the day; the two female emcees came out dressed like extras from a Wreckx-N-Effect video, and throughly killed on stage. They had problems with their turntables that briefly stopped the set and it still didn't matter. Definitely the best show up to that point.

Blonde Redhead - If I hadn't just seen M.I.A. prefacing this show, I'm sure it would have been easier to digest. Still, I can't hang that on them, they played great.

LCD Soundsystem - Very impressed by the band and the singer; I was working off little exposure to them (the "I've heard good things" method). "Daft Punk Is Playing At My House" was the highlight, since Daft Punk themselves were setting their set just a stage away.

Daft Punk - Last show of the night. I tried to get as close to the stage as possible. As it turned out, it didn't matter how close you were. You just needed some room to move your feet, that's all. An unbelievably elaborate light show, by the men in silver astronaut suits, perched above the stage in a electronic pyramid. I've said to much already; I don't want to spoil it for anyone else.

M.I.A. and Daft Punk were best shows of the day, though I'm not sure who topped who. I was impressed with little else at the festival, though. Too many overhyped bands for far too high a price.

While the best artists of the day on Friday were by and large all digital, expect the opposite to be true with Sunday's list of bands. I expect Iggy and the Stooges, The Wailers, Yo La Tengo and TV on the Radio to take us back home.

ps. On the train on the way to festival, I was invariably surrounded by others who were also en route to the festival who were talking about who they were going to see. I sent the following text message to my brother following a quite concerning conversation I overheard between two guys who were sitting in front of me on the train:

Text 1: "Conversation on the Train: 'Kings of Leon, Modest Mouse and then Pearl Jam: who wouldn't pay $80 for that?' I was looking [down] at my schedule like it was [the game] Battleship. [All the time, thinking] 'Miss.'"

Of course, last night those two groups teamed up with YouTube, for the first interactive presidential candidates debate in the country's history. CNN's Anderson Cooper served as the moderator for the debate, in which the questions came from various YouTube subscribers who asked unscripted questions to the candidates. This time around Democrats turn, while the Republican debate is scheduled for September 17th.

For the most part I was impressed with all of the frontrunners, but I was particularly intrigued by mid-tier candidates Christopher Dodd, Joe Biden and Bill Richardson. Since one of these candidates may very well be the perennial vice presidential nominee, it is almost equally imperative to know these individuals as much as the actual candidate elect.

Former Senator Mike Gravel is quickly becoming the Party's jester. He is the personification of grump: perpetually combative and belligerent, and most inevitably, entertaining as all get out. Like the Reverend Al Sharpton in 2004, Gravel is the one candidate that can say almost anything he wants, including statements that are particularly critical and often true about his fellow candidates, because he is certain that he will not win. He is this generation's Ross Perot, with the only exception that invariably no one will remember him after this year.

Regarding these YouTube debates, I am much more interested in GOP debates in September. The Republican candidates should have much more to respond to regarding the war in Iraq. Because we are 17+ months away from the actual election, the Iraq War is really the most time sensitive issue and thus those are the main arguments to pay attention to at this point in my mind.

Apparently the show is getting poor reviews, and I can probably understand why, with political biases allowed to show in critiques, on either side of the political spectrum. I too would like to state that I have biases as well, but mine are not political. My bias is that I am fan of just about everything Iggy Pop has ever done, and he just happens to voice the character of Lil' Rummy (that being, Donald Rumsfeld).

Created by Donick Cary, whose writing credits include shows such as The Simpsons and Just Shoot Me, the show admittedly seems like a great idea, but one begins to wonder if the show is actually about something or just a bunch of cheapshots.

That is really is up to you and your internal ideological barometer to decide. Though, with all that aside, is Lil' Bush funny?

The premise of the show is to smear the Bush family and the Administration. Some of which is pulled off with a considerable amount of wit, but some of it does not make much sense. For instance, Florida Governor Jeb Bush is portrayed as the stupid little brother, which is not all that accurate. He wasn't Ivy League educated like his older brother, but he did finish his undergraduate studies in two and half years at University of Texas, just in time to register for the draft; lucky for him the war ended before his number was called.

Other inconsistencies also make the show seem rather half-planned. Incorporating current events like Paris Hilton going to jail, while Lil' Bush is still in elementary school with his dad still the President-- unless I'm missing something, this should have made the cutting room floor before air.

Immediately following the 2000 elections, Trey Parker and Matt Stone created a show based on a sitcom convention called That's My Bush. If you remember that show, it had almost nothing to do with current events. That's My Bush, rather, was focused more on issues such as abortion, immigration, and other boilerplate issues.

Lil' Bush, on the other hand, is all over the place. Thus far, there have been some very funny show ideas put forth mocking the president, but for the most part, the show, destined to be one-and-off anyway, seems to be trying to get away with as many crass jokes they possibly can before the Secret Service comes and whisks the writers away.

So what is good about the show? Well, some of the bits with the four childhood friends -- being, Lil' Bush, Cheney, Condi, and Rummy respectfully -- are clever to some extent; the voices in particular are performed well. As mentioned previously, Iggy Pop as Lil' Rummy is hilarious. The good deep Ann Arbor, MI accent mixed with 40+ years of venue cigarette smoke in his lungs makes for a surprisingly delightful Rumsfeld character as it turns out. Also guest starring on the show are members from the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Foo Fighters, and Jeff Tweedy from Wilco.

Still the show's pitfalls, at this point, are much too gaping to ignore. Perhaps Donick Cary, not unlike his nemesis, would like to let history decide. Unfortunately for him, while that may fly for government, it certainly will not for basic cable.

According to the story, the pill itself is said to aid in helping people kick smoking, as well as potentially being used to help curb alcohol addiction.

Which I assume that sometime in the near future -- providing the FDA allows the drug to be purchased over the counter - you could quite possibly witness this curious scenario:

"Where are they?"

: "What, what are you looking for?"

"Come on, I need them!"

: "Need what?"

"My drug-curbing drugs, you idiot! I'm itchin'... I'm itchin'..."

No, I don't see anything wrong with this at all.

Regardless, I was looking through the archives and stumbled upon a podcast featuring Yo La Tengo and comedian Greg Proops. On the show, they have a semi-frequent segment for some of their guests called "The Ranking." On this portion of the show a guest is presented with five different items or actions and the guest is to rank them from worst to first "like the '91-'92 Atlanta Braves."

On this particular aforementioned show in April of 2005, Greg Proops was presented with the following crop of suggestions and was asked to rank them appropriately in the "Rock Snob" edition of "The Ranking":

-Outdoor Concerts
-Feedback
-Theremin
-Legendary Rock Critic Lester Bangs
-A Bass shaped like an axe.

If you are so inclined, you may listen to Proops' list here. I am in somewhat concurrence with him, I guess you could say. (You can also list yours in the comments section if you like.)

While I was trying to formulate my list, after some thorough headscratching, I realized that I know precious nil about the Theremin. After some research, come to find it was invented in 1919 by Russian inventor Lev Sergeivitch Termen and was, at the time, one of the first fully electronic instruments created. The contraption itself creates sound waves through two radio frequency oscillators and two separate metal antennas; the sound is made through movements of your hands hovering above the antennas.

Most likely some of you have heard a Theremin on a record. Many bands have used the Theremin in their music. An Electro-Theremin is featured on The Beach Boys' "Good Vibrations" record, which is a simulation of an actual Theremin. Apparently Brian Wilson couldn't get an actual Theremin in the studio.

Recently I saw a Theremin at an synth pop show a couple weeks back which, alongside the said instrument, there were no acoustic instruments played. No guitars, no drums. Just analog synths, tracks and vocals.

After some thoughtful introspection, thinking back to that all electric show and through listening to a catalog of songs featuring the great instrument, I have concluded that no studio is officially complete without a Theremin. I picture myself dying by way of electrocution while trying to operate the Theremin, an electric guitar and a harmonica all at the same time.

Anyway, here is how I would list them:

5) A Bass shaped like an Axe
4) Outdoor Concerts
3) Legendary Rock Critic Lester Bangs
2) Theremin
1) Feedback

Sorry. As excited as I am about the Nikola Tesla-reminiscent device that makes a brilliant wooo-hoooo-ooooo-wooo sound, I am much more partial to the ear-deafening screeching of pickup and amp combat.

Enter Human Giant. A new fast-paced sketch comedy show, created by comedians Aziz Ansari, Rob Huebel and Paul Scheer, Human Giant debuted earlier this spring on MTV and lo and behold, it is easily one of the funniest shows on television even after a mere eight episodes of exposure.

Arising as in a true D.I.Y. spirit, from the Upright Citizens Brigade theaters in both the NYC and LA comedy scene, Human Giant got picked up by MTV based on the buzz of the group's YouTube videos and various other shorts the comedians had compiled.

Commercial Jingles

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In a surprising turn of events, for some reason, MTV decided to give Aziz, Rob and Paul the entire day to do whatever they wanted. From noon Eastern Time Friday to noon Saturday, Human Giant took over the MTV Studios in Times Square.

Apparently this honor had been given to the likes of Courtney Love and (ironically enough) the Foo Fighters in the past, and it has taken this long for MTV to get their act together, at least for a brief moment, like this. Among the guests this time around were Mastodon, Ted Leo, Tegan and Sara and many other musicians in addition to their fellow comedy peers including Zach Galifianakis, Rob Riggle and Fred Armisen to name a few.

The result was a 24-hour disaster in terms of production, but something truly enjoyable to watch for music and comedy aficionados who rarely get to see their favorites in the lime light.

It's nice to see the forces of evil being used for good every once in awhile, even if it is for a brief moment.

And I must say, that if I were a legal resident in Minnesota, I would vote for Franken. The state already had Jesse Ventura elected as governor, so a political satirist is not really a stretch.

"Republicans run for office saying, 'The government doesn't work;' and then they prove it."
-Al Franken [on The Late Show with David Letterman]

Sure the statement above is partisan, and I don't entirely agree with it, but it does speak volumes for many regarding this administration. Seriously though, while I do disagree with Franken politically on some issues, I do like the fact that he vehemently for issues like national health care and changing our energy policy.

This documentary shows that Franken is, alas, not too big for his britches and shows he rightly outraged at some of the wrongs in the country. And he's not afraid to toe the line with conservatives like Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity and Ann Coulter, so I am inclined to believe that he would not shy away from the responsibilities as a United States Senator. I could be wrong, but I can identify with Franken more than many other U.S. Senators, I can assure you. I believe having Franken in the Senate would be great for the country.

ps. By the way, do you know why Minnesota is such a windy state?

...Because the Dakotas blow, and Wisconsin sucks.

The Midwest is really just a swallowing of convection and apocalyptic climates when you think about.

Now let's see: The Godfather of Soul who entertained us for over 50 years, pioneering, if not perfecting, rock 'n' roll with a style and flavor all his own gets a week of coverage, overshadowed by the year-end American holidays. Then, some top-heavy Barbie doll croaks in a hotel room a couple months ago, and we still are not finished talking about it. Honestly, can you name three movies that she was in? (No IMDB.com cheating.)

And that's why Nancy Grace and all the others should wane their coverage on this and report on something else. I understand that she was a popular public figure, and thus it is a newsworthy story, but it wasn't like she was a national treasure or role model of any kind.

You can be momentarily fascinated with something like this, not unlike glancing at a tabloid rack in a checkout line. It's when you buy a subscription that there is a problem.

The 14-month-old Callum Robbins has a tough battle ahead; most children with Type 1 SMA do not make it beyond their second birthday. If young Cal is fortunate to survive he will be subject to rigorous physical therapy to help see some, albeit limited progress. Unfortunately, Cal will never be able to walk.

Here is why this is important. I hate to go all Sally Struthers or Bono on you asking for pity alms -- as annoying as that may be -- however it would be horrible to not acknowledge this eminent need. For those who don't know, J. Robbins is a prominent indie musician as the leader of such bands as Jawbox, Burning Airlines and Channels to name a few. Now Robbins is a engineer and producer for many independent artists.

As you may imagine, this is an extremely expensive process for the Robbins' family. As a self-employed record producer, insurance and funds are not exactly an abundance for J. and Janet, who is a stay-at-home mom.

So what can you do? Well, you can send money directly to the Robbins' family through PayPal here. Also, for those in the Chicago area, the mighty SHELLAC will be playing a benefit show on April 27 at Subterranean.

For further updates on Cal Robbins' status and doctor's reports you can visit the family's official blog here: http://callumrobbins.blogspot.com/.{mosimage}

And I am quite fine with it. I am of course speaking of the television and the shows that friends of mine tell me that I absolutely MUST be watching.

For the last couple years or so, the only TV that I have seen worth watching -- excluding the 24 hour news networks and a few televised sporting events -- has been The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. Because they are culturally relevant and consistently funny on any given night.

And I am sorry but Lost, 24, The Office (NBC version), et al just don't do anything for me. Off the top of my head, the only shows that have been remotely interesting over the last few years have either been on HBO (Da Ali G Show, Lucky Louie)or Comedy Central (Stella, South Park, Comedians of Comedy). And you'll notice that all but one of those parenthetical citations have been either canceled or discontinued indefinitely. Perhaps that should just show you where I am at on the spectrum of television entertainment. Remind me to never work for Viacom or any other merger for that matter, because apparently my ideas and tastes would just aid in sinking the juggernaut.

I should probably just stick to writing about books for now on.

Nevertheless, I did get hipped to a Philip Roth's short novel "Everyman," which came out last year, and became completely enthralled with the story. I don't want to give away anything in the story itself, but in short, the story is essentially about an envious and obsessive bastard of a man, chronicling life, starting at his funeral, to his early upbringing, an explanation for the character's oft poor demeanor.

Okay, so I don't know how to sell the book, but, regardless, so why do I bring this up? Well, Mr. Roth was honored today with the PEN/Faulkner Award for his book. And, if I could offer my novice opinion on the matter, I would have to agree. The book was tragic and awful to read, but more importantly, brilliantly written.

I do appreciate the fact that he was awarded with a decent chunk of change to go along with the award, as well. That never hurts.

It's called The Funny Papers (as in the old phrase, "See you in the funny papers.")

So, no, it won't be funny all the time.

But sometimes it will be.

By way of introduction, you should expect to read the scattered, pithy thoughts about some of the following:

Current events.
Cultural observations.
Music.
Books.
Film.
Comedy.
History.

Anyway, thank you for reading The Funny Papers.

"Dear reader, please forgive me if I have wasted your time."*

Goodday.

-Matthew

*Taken from "A Note to the Chinese Reader" by Leonard Cohen.