“I had the name, and it kept coming up as funeral home and golf course,” said March.
Yes, you’ve heard right, but the answer is technically correct. The proper title is the “community room” and there are more activities than golf. Video games, pinball, bumper pool, ping pong, shuffle board, I’m talking about your friendly neighborhood destination for a “lively” time. No pun intended.
Established in 1892 and located at 201 Northwest Highway, the Ahlgrim family has provided funeral services to Chicagoans and to the residents of Palatine, IL, but only 30 years ago things got interesting.
According to Ahlgrim’s Funeral Director Mark Stasinos, the “community room” was first a place to store caskets, until owner Roger Ahlgrim decided to put his miniature-golf obsession to the test.
“Mr. Ahlgrim had a fascination with golf courses. There were no cell phones, and death comes 24 hours a day, seven days a week,” said Stasinos. “He had all the extra space, so he decided to start something for the kids.”
Initially, the idea is quite bizarre, but it gets worse. Mr. Ahlgrim’s creation is a death-themed miniature golf course. Each hole has it’s own “touch of death,” such as a shipping container that once transported the dead from railroad, a large casket that is painted black and appropriately has the three letters “RIP,” a lit-up miniature haunted house decorated with a mold of a face that was once Ahlgrim’s project from mortuary school.
“He had all this old stuff, so he figured he would use it for the course,” said Stasinos. “We know it’s a serious issue, but people still need to have fun.”
Stasinos is used to the idea of the community room, but what was it like for Gia March? “It was just so weird, you’d never know that we were underneath a funeral home,” March said. “The creepiest thing was the coffin and there was a Frankenstein-ish looking character in it.”
Building one hole at a time, Ahlgrim’s room has a total of nine holes accompanied by flashing industrial lights and haunted house music serving as the background. There are other gaming activities, but one of the more popular games is the wooden table-top shuffle board that was donated by a local tavern that closed in town.
For the clientele, anyone has the opportunity to come to Ahlgrim’s for a couple of rounds. “People from all different walks of life have come here, mothers, fathers, couples, even girl scout and boy scout troops,” said Stasinos.
In learning about the course from his golf-fanatical brother, 44 year old Indian Guide Leader Gerome McDonald thought it would be a great opportunity for his troop to visit. “I thought I read about it once in the paper and my brother told me that he read about it in Golf Digest,” McDonald said.
On April 17, 2006, the Indian Guides from Olive Elementary School in Arlington Heights came to Ahlgrim’s as one of their group activities. Totaling nineteen children and ranging from kindergarten up to the fifth grade, the Indian Guides at Olive have been gearing for this night since they were informed by McDonald a month prior.
“We have monthly projects for the boys, but once in a while we go out and do something fun for the boys,” said McDonald, who is also father of nine year old Gregory.
When the first child entered the room, wearing his tan brown vest full of colorful badges, 6-year-old Alex Muellner exclaimed, “Wow, ping pong! Dad look!”
As he was playing the game “Lunar Lander,” ten year old Michael McDonald said, “I think it’s awesome.”
When asked about using the community room for their group activity, 41-year-old Burt Mosely said that he didn’t think it was strange. “It’s not bizarre, but it being in a funeral home is,” said Mosely.
Mosely also described the reactions from his 7-year-old twin sons, “They asked me if there are going to be coffins or bodies, but I told them we’ll see.” Although he was okay with the idea of his children playing in the room, he said that he didn’t think that his wife knew they were going there.
Another father commented what he felt were the benefits of having this service available, but he had been misinformed.
“I really think it’s great that they have something for the kids to do during wakes,” said John McDonagh, father of 5-year-old Timothy and 10-year-old Joshua.
After he received the information that the community room is not available during services, his forehead began to wrinkle, his teeth clenching, forming an apprehensive, and at the same time, slightly disturbed smile. “That throws me off,” McDonagh replied.
There are reasons as to why the room is unavailable during services, but the most important, Stasinos states, is to have respect for Ahlgrim’s religious-conservative visitors. “The family (of the deceased) might want it or they don’t care, but you have to be aware of the visitors who come here and if they hear it, it would be disrespectful.”
Disrespectful? Sure. Bizarre? Absolutely. There literally are signs of it spread throughout the room, most of them signs collected throughout the years. There is a neon red light that says Mike’s Barber Shop and underneath it is a flag with blue, white, and red containing a picture of the statue of Liberty and the phrase, “Liberty 1886 Cenntennial 1986.”
There is a custom made sign that resembles no smoking, but the cigarette is replaced with a ghost and says Palatine 28800, Ahlgrim’s Ghosbusters. Two stop signs, a railroad crossing, pedestrian crosswalk, speed limit 30 (miles per hour), men working, Home Town Real Estate 255-8440, a ramp sign, also 30 miles per hour, and an appropriate do not enter sign.
In the arrival of the video game age thirty years ago, Roger Ahlgrim also satisfied his enjoyment for new technology. Thus, a number of arcade games encompass one wall of the community room, such as Space Invaders, Lunar Lander, Mario Brothers, Monster Bash, and Chop Lifter. Along with the arcade, there are two pinball machines, one titled “Haunted House.”
Created by a friend of the family, there is the supply room door containing a haunting scene: A dark night with a bright full moon that shines on a headstone with the phrase “no admittance” and the remains of a skeleton lie along the front.
When Stasinos began working at Ahlgrim’s eight years ago, he said that he would go down there during his lunch break, but didn’t play golf. He describes it as a love for pinball. “I was on a kick for a little bit, when I used to live in Aurora, but now I usually go home for lunch.”
The community room is free admittance, but they only take people by appointment. Call the funeral home, give a name and phone number, and the reservation is complete. If a wake has been scheduled while there are golf reservations, Ahlgrim’s has 24 hours to cancel visitors.
Ahlgrim’s community room does not let its visitors six feet down, instead they are ahead of the game with a hole in one.
