Of these sitcoms, what tends to stick out even more than the day-glo shoelaces and the awkward breaking voices of pre-pubescent stars are the quick two-minute moral wrap-ups delivered at the end of the episode, often by the patriarch of the family (also known as Dad). Like it or not, television has changed drastically in the last decade or so. It's easy to forget that while we now spend the post-dinner family hour huddled around the set watching cadavers being split open or people eating scorpions, we used to spend those moments taking in giant heaps of life lessons, such as when Danny Tanner taught one of the Olsen twins the importance of getting back on the bike again after you've fallen off (even if it was all Joey's fault).
So in honor of those sappy turkey-dinner moments (that can be relived on 7th Heaven if you really find yourself going into withdrawals), here is a list of classic TV dads from our generation and some of the important messages they taught us.
1) Tim “The Toolman” Taylor
So JTT obsession aside (hey, I was 10…through 15, whatever), watching Tim Allen was pretty much the only reason to tune into Home Improvement. How many dads in real life are as funny and loveably moronic as Tim Taylor? No father I know has ever glued a board to his own head. At least, not on cable television anyway. Sure, the near-moronic father figure has become a staple in recent sitcoms (think Malcolm in the Middle for example), but it was Tim Allen who first perfected it. And although he sometimes, sometimes, made us wonder why Wilson never called Child Protective Services on his power-saw-wielding-ass, the Toolman was never too busy fixing up his car (or the bathroom or the dishwasher or the fence) to be a good dad.
2) Philip Banks
Okay, so Carlton had the dance and the Fresh Prince stole the show. But where would the Banks family (plus one straight-outta-Philly nephew and his sidekick Jazzy Jeff) be without Philip? I don't actually know. But chances are- not in Beverly Hills, my friends. Not in Beverly Hills. And here's just one of the many slightly obese TV dads who couldn't catch a break from fat jokes from anyone in the family- not from Will Smith, not from his two spoiled daughters, and certainly not from Geoffrey, the butler who was so seriously bent out of shape that I'm surprised he hadn't slowly poisoned the Banks family to death before the series finale. Honestly- no wonder the guy had to drown his pain in food. But anyone who will name his youngest son after all four members of Boys II Men is just straight cool.
3) Carl Winslow
He had to put up with Eurkel. Isn't that enough to gain our respect?
4) Alan Matthews
Is he the underdog of this list? Maybe. After all, the parents of Corey Matthews didn't have the biggest roles on Boy Meets World, especially during the kitschy, sometimes weird, and oddly stretched-out college seasons. But I still believe (and I will fight you on this one) that Alan Matthews worked his way into our hearts with his deadpan humor and his insistence on father-son bonding moments. Remember the episode where Corey didn't want to go on the fishing trip with his dad anymore? That's heartbreaking stuff. Plus, any parent who has to deal with a moron-child like Eric Matthews should be recognized in some way. I apologize that this is the only way.
5) Frank Lambert
It's the modern day Brady's! Well, if modern happens to mean 'early '90s' and Carol Brady has been replaced with Chrissy from Three's Company… let the hilarity begin. What better concept for a coveted role on the TGIF lineup (oh, TGIF, where art thou? WHERE?) The show scored extra points for also playing up the Fonzie bit- only instead of a leather-clad grease ball above the garage it was the two-points-above-legally-retarded nephew Cody who lived in a van in the driveway that drove this TV dad nuts. One small house, six mismatched kids, and later a baby on the way? Kudos, Frank Lambert. Kudos.
6) Danny Tanner
Yes, in his most recent ventures Bob Saget has alternately creeped us out and made us laugh with brief yet disturbingly raunchy roles in Entourage and The Aristocrats. But that doesn't change the fact that he was once the be-all-end-all of TV Dad-ness. I have saved the best for last on this list, because Danny Tanner, in all his Windex-loving, anxiety-inducing ways, embodies exactly the sort of moral center that all of these sitcoms of our childhood share. Adorable, hijinks-prone moppets for children? Check. Extended family living on the premises, helping out and mixing things up in general? Check. And, of course, the final two minute segments that include a heartfelt talk and the gentle tunes of instrumental music? Check and check. Guide us, Danny Tanner. Oh, guide us all!
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TV dads of our generation
Written by Guest on 2006-09-13 08:30:38
Linds great job! I also read "So you think you can ride a bus? and Schneider's Still Good Now". I'll read the others later. I am so proud of you. |
Written by Guest on 2006-09-13 16:59:25
Congrats!! Good Work! ~Marilyn~ |
Good one!
Written by Guest on 2006-09-20 10:02:30
Good one, but no Homer? No Peter Griffin? Hey, it's cool though, still a good article  Keep up the good work! |
Written by Guest on 2006-09-23 20:25:40
Good job Linds!!! ~Lisa~ |
Written by Guest on 2006-09-26 20:42:16
linds, Loved every bit of it! Can't wait for your next creation to come out. Aunt Barb |
