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Most of us call it a “Hollywood Moment”, you know, the moment the hero (or heroine) turns around and runs for their life back to the heroine (or hero) to tell them that they are in love with them. Men call it a chick flick. But somewhere deep down inside we all hope that we'll be the ones to experience a Hollywood Moment in real life.
I happen to be one of those people, as naïve as I might seem. I know the reality, but I tend to have hope…..always.
I had never personally heard of a real life Hollywood Moment, until very recently, and then it seemed like they begun to pop up everywhere. This last weekend I happen to meet a young couple who told me about the moment that changed their lives. Anna* had moved to London to work and met Robert*, who quickly became a good friend. One night after dinner with friends, Robert escorted Anna home, he got on the trolley and thought “I have a real chance to be with this woman, and I can't live without her anymore.” So, he jumped off the trolley and walked back to her house and told her as much. They were married a few months later.
It got me wondering what we do with our split seconds, the moments that can change our lives.
Which direction do you most tend to go? There's safe, or doubtful, and risky, or you'll never know unless to try.
It doesn't even have to be as grandiose as Hollywood (they have more money for expensive cars, clothing and jewelry, oh and last minute $3,000 airplane tickets), it can be so very simple, yet we still don't do it. How many times are you in an elevator or on the bus/el and think to yourself “I should say hi to that person”? Well, what if you did?
Every day we experience the chance to make a brave and risky decision to change our lives, and most of the time we doubt our abilities, or the outcome, that we actually turn away and keep our lives moving in the same direction. We do this because it's safer, but life in general, everyday, is a risk we don't acknowledge. We can only have the ability to make changes if we have the faith and confidence to ride out the potential outcome.
I often wonder, in all the many stories I've heard from people, what the outcome of their various tales would have been if they had chosen to take the risk to tell someone how they feel, to choose to not let someone they cared about go without putting up a fight, if they hadn't allowed their fear and pride to get in the way of having what they want most in life; a happy and loving relationship.
I have three girlfriends who walk through every door that opens to them and, hence, take the risk every time they get it. *Kelly just decided to kiss the object of her affection one night in a bar in front of everyone. They are now talking about marriage. Another friend Liz* met a guy on an airplane. It didn't go anywhere but it was an exciting opportunity that she boldly took hold of. Karen* has an un-definable power with men. She captured her ex-husband's heart by saying hello to him in Boston Commons.
And how do these risky business gals feel about their split-second decisions? They all agree that whether the outcome was good or bad, they would do the same thing again; take a major risk in putting themselves out there for a man. Liz says that she always remembers something her mother told her “Listen to the whispers. If your instinct says 'do it' than do it.” And Liz should know. Early last year she was on her way to meet a guy and took a horrible fall. She's dealt with serious dental surgeries since, and she still doesn't regret leveraging the opportunity.
On the flip side, it seems that men aren't necessarily willing to take the risk. Jon* is an old friend who has no problem getting the attention of women, yet he admits that he's not willing to stick his neck out very far for fear of rejection. So, even the most confident men have their doubts. Of course he blames this on being more of a “planner” than a “fly-by-the-seat-of-his-pants-guy”. Whatever! If it's the difference between allowing the most beautiful creature walk out of his life or take the risk, I'm saying he'll take the risk every time.
Okay, so no one is saying that being turned down is a good time. It's certainly not something I seek out, but what I have learned from my fearless female friends is that you can't care as much. If you take the risk and it backfires it's not the end of the world. The situation will not define you as a person and if you take the leap often enough you're just bound to beat the numbers.
If you ask women just about all of us can tell you in one breath about the most romantic movie scene they've ever seen. And the truth is that women and men do want that exciting Hollywood moment that will say “THIS IS YOUR HERO (or heroine)!!” In fact, I challenge you to consider how many times you wished someone would just get off their duff, make the split-second decision to do something and then do it. I guarantee the number is double digits. But, why leave it to someone else?
Remember the first time you jumped into a swimming pool or lake? I find that making the decision to do something you're not sure about is like that. Just hold your breath, close your eyes and go for it!! I guarantee that even if you fail, or flail, the thrill of trying will provide a rush that you'll remember and love.
With the new year quickly approaching, I challenge you to make more split-second decisions that have the potential to change your life. Stay open to the opportunities that come your way and never play it safe. Life is too short!
• "Dating Games" appears first and third Mondays of every month, exclusively in Lumino Magazine. E-mail Jennifer at jenfort@hotmail.com. Powered by AkoComment 2.0! |
