ATMOSPHERE
Whenever I walk into the Billy Goat Tavern I am reminded of the bartender in the movie “It's a Wonderful Life” during the last half of the movie when Jimmy Stewart is finding out what life is like if he were never born. The bartender says, “listen pal, we serve hard liquor to guys who want to get drunk fast.” This is the atmosphere you will find in the Billy Goat Tavern.
The Billy Goat is the quintessential greasy spoon with a bar thrown in for god measure. The grill looks like it was last cleaned when Calvin Coolidge was in office. The walls seem to have absorbed the smoke from the millions of cigarettes that must have been smoked there throughout the years. The tables are rickety at best and there is nothing here even close to resembling fancy dining or anything like this. This is a place to eat food that will clog your arteries and drink booze that will get you plastered.
CROWD
The Billy Goat Tavern crowd is the true melting pot of this city. Business men come here after work to drink and watch a game. Tourists travel into the murky depths beneath Michigan Avenue because it's a touristy place. Regular folks go here because they want a cheeseburger. Legendary actors, writers and Chicago personalities show up here because it's got great food, and it's a legend. If you come during the lunch and dinner rush you will find the place crowded and seating tight. It is not uncommon for the line to stretch right out the door.
SPIRITS
They have your standard alcohol here. This is a place where you stop by to have a beer after work and you should probably order something like a Pabst, Miller or Budweiser. No fancy micro-brews here. No fancy mixed drinks need apply. This is a place to drink a shot, then a beer, watch a game, eat a greasy burger, and then stagger home.
GRUB
How does someone describe the food at the Billy Goat? It's grease. They have burgers and they have cheeseburgers. They have polish sausage. They now have a breakfast menu that includes things like ham and eggs. This is not health food. If you want fancy food or healthy food you may just want to toddle down the street and try the Signature Room in the Hancock Building. If you want food that will clog every artery you have on the way down, then the Billy Goat is for you. For my money, it is the best cheeseburger in the downtown Chicago area.
When you walk in you better study the menu fast. This is the place where someone will start pointing and yelling “double cheese, double cheese, double cheese” and before you know it you have a double cheeseburger coming. They don't have fries, they have chips and it's a bag of chips. They don't have Pepsi they have Coke. If you remember the Saturday Night Live routine, then you will know what you are getting into. They did not exaggerate the place too much.
The burger cooks beautifully on the ancient grill. It comes to you with two slices of meat and cheese on a Kaiser roll. It's the roll that makes the whole burger for me. You get to add your own onions, tomatoes, pickles, ketchup etcetera. It's greasy, it's messy, and it tastes fantastic going down. Will you pay for this later? More than likely, but sometimes you need a little pain to enjoy such pleasure.
PRICES
Sometimes you pay a bit more for a legend. A double cheese burger will run you just under five bucks. A triple hamburger will run you over five dollars. The drinks are under two dollars if it's soda. The soda pretty much comes only in one size. The bag of chips is a buck. You may be able to find a cheaper burger, but for the experience of seeing these guys launch into the “Cheezeborger! Cheezeborger” routine and eat a great burger you can't beat the price.
WHY IT'S UNIQUE
This is a legendary place. It is unique because only in Chicago would a place like this thrive as it has and then expand. I say stick with the original on Lower Michigan. Just the fact you have to go underground to eat or drink at this place makes it unique. It's unique because of the people who work there and seem to still be enjoying it even if they are a bit surly at times. It's unique because it's got great burgers for a decent price and it's a legend. Sometimes you just have to give a legend it's due.
Photos courtesy of the Billy Goat Tavern
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