Most interesting to me, my sister had found someone she wanted to set me up with. She worked with him, and knew very little about him, but thought he was cute. With my permission, she slipped him my business card and told him a few words about me.
A few days later, taking my sister’s bait, he called and we chatted and things seemed ok. As it turned out, we grew up in the same town (but went to rival high schools) and knew many of the same people. He was mid-move, moving to a house a few miles from me, so we cut the conversation short but made plans to get together the following Saturday before we hung up.
Since my personal dating scene had been such crap up to this point, I decided that I was going to get myself excited about my blind date. I mean, it was the first time my sister had ever set me up and I thought this one might have a fighting chance in hell. That week, I bought myself two new outfits (including one dress), had my hair cut and my nails done. I was determined to be excited as a new course of action in case my old skepticism was the cause of so many failed first dates.
Late Saturday afternoon, I started my primping process for date readiness. I had my hair and my makeup done when my phone rang. He was calling to cancel / reschedule with me. It seems he was at a family wedding the night before and was still suffering from a major hangover (at 6 pm). Being kind, I agreed to reschedule for Thursday night.
I was literally all dressed up with no place to go.
Not wanting to feel pathetic for being dumped on a Saturday night, I called my girlfriend Lisa and we went dancing instead. I shook my assets up and down the dance floor and had a stellar time. All in all, a fine Saturday night; a damn fine Saturday night.
Thursday night rolled around and I went through my ritual again. The first cancelled date was not a good start, but I am willing to forgive. At seven, my door buzzed and I went to meet my blind date.
It was a nice time – not whiz-bang, fireworks, but a nice time. So, I agreed to go out with him again.
On our second date, some interesting things about him emerged in conversation. For example, he was smoking in order to quit chewing; and he was chewing because he was trying to quit prescription drugs. In fact, he said in the last year, he had spent about $14K on oxycontin.
While I appreciated his honestly, his being so candid, this was a new ball of wax for me.
I try oh so desperately not to hold someone’s past actions against him. I mean, at one time, we have all been young and dumb and impulsive. But, I got to wondering, when does the past trickle to current? And when does the past predict the future? If he was once an addict, is it likely that he will always be an addict?
He may not always be addicted to cigarettes, tobacco, prescription drugs or steroids, but it could be other things: gambling…spending money…me…who knows. Addiction is clinical, not completely controllable.
But that’s not how the story ends.
Against all my better judgment, I decided that his addictions were in his past, that I could try to date a man who used to stick needles in his veins for fun. The next time we talked, however, he told me that he was going back to his ex.
Three weeks of run around and my dating life was back to the same old crap dating scene. All in all, I didn’t lose anything from the experience, and I didn’t gain anything either. But at least I have a story to tell.
• "A Single Serving" appears second and fourth Mondays every month, exclusively in Lumino Magazine. E-mail Melissa at m.koss@yahoo.com. Photo of Melissa by Anne Coloso.
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Written by Guest on 2007-03-26 20:08:57
I'm glad you didn't waste a Saturday night!
~T |
so...
Written by Guest on 2007-03-26 22:04:16
Now we know why to NOT date boys from our town.   |
Written by Guest on 2007-03-27 19:24:37
Don't exclude all boys from our town just because this one didn't pan out. You never know how things might work out. |
