The movie is stuffed like a Thanksgiving turducken with countless characters, most of them hitmen, all after Vegas entertainer, Buddy “Aces” Israel (Jeremy Piven, looking coked-up, and strung-out, and not adding much depth beyond that). Buddy, you see, has become a mob snitch for the FBI, and a million dollar bounty shall be rewarded to the first low-life who can deliver his heart to mob boss Primo Sparazza (Joseph Ruskin). Meanwhile, FBI agents Messner (Ryan Reynolds) and Carruthers (Ray Liotta) are charged with the task of finding Buddy and making sure he stays alive. This culminates in an all-out orgy of violence and action as the assassins try to one-up each other, and the FBI tries to one-up the assassins. Or at least, that’s what happens in theory.

The biggest problem with “Smokin’ Aces” is that there is really nobody to root for. The characters are amazingly unlikable freaks, and while that could make for some interesting antiheros, the film is so crowded that most of them fail to make an impression. These characters are played by well-known actors but most of them can't elevate the material, and the few who do (such as Ben Affleck as a bail bondsman, and Jason Bateman as a perverted lawyer) are given criminally little screen time. This culminates in a film that’s hard to relate to. You never know who to hitch your allegiance to, and when characters die (and a whole lot of them do) you’re never sure whether you should be cheering or mourning.

Another glaring problem is that, for a movie that is so violent and gore-filled, the action is surprisingly dull. The film gives off the impression that things are building up and will pay-off with a third Act filled with wall-to-wall action. It lives up to this promise, but suffers from confusing staging and frivolous excess. Guns for the sake of guns and blood for the sake of blood do not exciting action make. Sadly, “Smokin’ Aces” does not realize this, and that—mixed with bizarre shifts in tone, and a “shock ending” that neither shocks nor ends anything—are what ultimately cause it to fail.

I admire that Joe Carnahan tried to do something new here, but failure is still failure, and you can’t judge a movie off of good intentions. “Smokin’ Aces” is the type of movie that makes you want to take a shower afterwards… Anything to clean off all the blood and guts.

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