Aqua is the Park East Hotel’s restaurant and bar in downtown Milwaukee. It’s the kind of place Rosemary Clooney would visit if she were in town.

This is a sneaky venue. From the exterior, one is fooled into believing that Aqua is a trend-spot for high-class hipsters. The window-walls are draped in a private mist of sheer fabrics, and from the street the innocent passersby watch silhouettes resembling beautiful people. Even after entering, the false sense of security that this is the place you and your date would like to hang out on a Friday night lingers on.

Like many of the newer Milwaukee venues, the selling point of Aqua is its décor. True to its name, the bar is made of glass, filled with water and bubbles, backlit in blue and green water hues. The entire place is low-lit with violet-tints cast in the corners. The furniture is predominantly white, most noticeably the leather swivel chairs. Huge white spheres hanging from the ceiling complete this Studio 54-like, circa 1970s ensemble.

But despite the interesting wall hangings and eye-soothing colors, the crowd is limp. Plenty of opportunities for lounging and people-watching went unspoken for because of hardcore drunks warming the rails. The average age of the crowd was somewhere in the early forties.

The tunes were less than satisfying, spewing tinny renditions of early ‘90s dance mixes. The DJ was nothing to boast about. The only people dancing were a cute pair in their late fifties, seeking fun in their retirement, and a couple that could have been nothing other than an awkward first date. Don’t come here for the music.

The reason to come here is the bar. An extensive drink menu lists just about every possible combination given the 20-foot-long shelves devoted to housing booze. The only problem is after reading the first 50 drinks on the menu they all start to sound the same. Have a good idea of what you want to drink before you walk in. But don’t come here for a bargain. The specialty drinks run $9-12, beers are $4-5, rails and mixed drinks $6-7. Wednesday is Ladies’ Night, offering free flavored Bacardi drinks and $2 rails.

Aqua reverts to club mode after the restaurant closes. There is a $5 cover charge after 11 p.m. most nights, usually Wednesday through Saturday. The restaurant’s hours vary, depending on the night and size of the crowd, but it usually closes down around 10 p.m. according to Aqua’s employees. The menu offers a decent variety, but is pricey; the cheapest item is a $16 plate of pasta and the most expensive is the $49 lobster dish. Steaks run from $28-40.

The décor is to be complimented because it stands out and is well done. It is odd how this potentially "trendy" nightclub attracts a significantly older crowd, but the connection to the hotel and the higher prices may account for this. Aqua’s doors opened in November 2003, taking over a space that had housed a string of failed restaurants (it was previously Ten Eleven). This is an upscale bar, perfect for a weekend night that escapes the younger crowd but at the same time retains the modern element of the bar and club scene. It is a cool place, just not much fun. But I give it props just the same for fooling me into trying it out.

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