It took a while, a few months, and then one day, I decided and announced to myself (because sometimes a verbal prouncement helps me to reinforce), “Enough.”
Enough was enough. I had had more than I could stomach – I couldn’t let someone rob me of personal control and power over my life any longer. It was time to take control!
Now all that I needed was a plan.
Every woman has a routine made up of certain things that can make her feel feminine and sexy, desirable and wanted. My routine includes (but is not limited to) plucking, waxing, ripping, shaving, tweezing and otherwise removing all unwanted hair. It is part of my semi-monthly primping activities that happen behind closed doors. That was phase one of my plan.
For the execution of phase two of my plan, I dressed myself in black from head to toe and headed out on the town to paint it red, to prove – if to no one else than myself – that I still had sex appeal.
Having sexual appeal isn’t about looking like sex, not about flirting or bating or flaunting. It is about feeling good, having self-confidence, and if even for just a few minutes, feeling as though I stand in the limelight.
I decided that the emancipation of my sexual appeal, for phase three of my plan, would best be demonstrated with a public exhibition of the tango. The black rimming my eyes and covering my skin from finger tips to ankles was an appropriate costume to unleash my restored sexual self on the public. And I have to say, I danced the shit out of the tango that night, and for at least two and a half minutes, I had my sex appeal back.
And it felt good.
It felt empowering.
It felt second nature.
Frumpy no longer was I. I was in my old skin once again.
In my mind’s eye, I picture myself as having the look of a modern-day Pin-up Girl, the look of a swimsuited Betty Grable or Jane Russell; or that of a Gibson Girl, curls piled atop my head. While this might be my mind deceiving my eyes, no matter. While I may look more like a doe-eyed girl-next-door than a sexual icon, I maintain that the classic look of my foresisters is one that I embody.
The peak-a-boo nature of the Pin-up Girls is one of the sexiest displays of a woman’s sex appeal; it leaves something to the imagination. So many of today’s fashions trend toward showing too much, turning a woman’s Friday night wardrobe into a Peep Show rather than a lady’s wardrobe.
But when I think over all of this, all of my opinions, in light of what I have seen myself go through, I think “Enough.” Everyone is entitled to having sex appeal and we should all wear it in whatever way makes us feel good. I know that I’m feeling good.
• "A Single Serving" appears second and fourth Mondays every month, exclusively in Lumino Magazine. E-mail Melissa at m.koss@yahoo.com. Photo of Melissa by Anne Coloso.
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Mom
Written by Guest on 2007-03-12 17:07:09
 Glad you are getting over it and back in your groove.
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Sexy
Written by Guest on 2007-04-17 14:16:03
You're bringing sexy back! |
