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It was so much easier last year...
So, I was feeling pretty good yesterday. No morning sickness and I was able to hold my head erect for the whole entire day, so I started to think about the "Ocean's Thirteen" premiere. I think I actually had convinced myself that I would go.
I could see the whole scenario float by in my mind...I would interview George Clooney with one of those water mic's and he would call me a "fucking prick" (because I don't see the words "jerk" spewing forth out of Clooney's mouth in anger. He seems like a filthy little boy.) Don Cheadle would laugh at Clooney because he secretly is tired of living in his shadow and wants him dead, while Ellen Barken demonstrates how to perform oral sex on someone's mic, and my little Matt Damon? just sitting there with his cute little boyish grin on his face looking innocent.
Yes, Matt Damon is my favorite celebrity. I wouldn't mind stalking him...if I had the time... not to mention the cost associated with stalking a Matt Damon. Nothing like a Brad Pitt, mind you...traveling to Africa, Mongolia, the Sudan, etc...but, the costs are heavy nonetheless.
There's
a)the endless emails b)vacations scheduled around premieres c)airfare d)gas e)rental cars f)telescopic lenses g)trying to hack into my Dish to display satellite pictures of his house on my television h)numerous spy and tracking equipment i)lawyers fees j)bond money k)my own personal restraining order on file l)and finally, a sternly worded letter to Matt about how he let a good thing go... energy, folks, that I do not have.
Peter is just rolling his eyes at me right now... Powered by AkoComment 2.0! |
