ATMOSPHERE

The minute you walk through the silver doors of this club that you really couldn’t pick out of a lineup of other dance clubs, you immediately enter a long tunnel that will have you believe the height of the entire establishment is just above eight feet. After giving up your coat to the mandatory coat check, you enter what I affectionately refer to as the spaceship. With the multicolored lights, no real flow to the bar, and the wrap around balcony that give you feeling that aliens are watching you drink; you’re confused on where to venture next after the initial entrance. Which leads to one of the very obvious problems with Crobar, the entire place looks exactly the same no matter what corner you retreat to! Just a giant airy two level room that screams you should be thankful to be here, not thank you for being here. But alas that is the club culture of Chicago, a constant feeling that you are a guest in the White House. One wrong move and you are expelled.

CROWD

As of late the crowd has turned from exclusively young hip twenty year olds to now include the added pinch of BALLLLLIN in denial thirty and forty year olds. So you can still spot a few dime pieces molesting the dance floor that will likely be on ecstasy or some other designer cocktail. The dress is similar to that of Sound bar, or Y bar. Designer jeans, untucked buttoned up Express or Guess shirts, with some spiffy Diesels or Steve Maddens. Why someone hasn’t started the business of dressing the unfashionable in alternative mainstream club wear blows my mind. It’s attack of the clones out there. The girls as always dressed in their cleavage baring shirts, and miniskirts which are always a pleasant sight, and one that continues to never disappoint even a setting such as this. Occasionally, you do find the fashion forward person here, but they usually leave to visit Reserve or Spoon.

SPIRITS

Crobar offers the entire palate of liquor that is offered at every other bar. From the well vodkas of Absolute to the higher ends of Grey Goose, Belvedere, and Level. And with no exclusive cocktails or bartenders that take any real pride in what they do, there are no especially tasty shots, drink inventions, or liquor acrobatics that would make any stars out of there bartending staff. I remember a particularly entertaining bartender by the name of Matt with long red hair, but when I visited the bar over Valentines Day weekend, he was no where to be found. Mixed drinks range from $7-12 depending on the beverage involved. Martinis as usual are $12-15 a piece. Domestic beer was $5 per bottle and imported beer was $6 or 7 dollars a pop. They do also offer the always envious bottle service in a secluded area ranging between $100 for a bottle of Grey Goose to the upper $300 for Champaign.

PRICES

The prices are normal for a Chicago Club, soo expect to leave with less money than you went in with.

WHY IT’S UNIQUE

Despite its faults, it is open until 5 am on Saturdays for you last minute shoppers and it does offer that dirty club experience that some desire. I assume not everybody wants the refined club experience, with the upper class treatment. For those of you who have heard that Crobar mimics a club in South Beach, Miami, it couldn’t be further from the truth. Granted the clubs down there do not have much in a sense of scenery. How they achieve their energy, is by the tight enclosed spaces it packs its customers into, giving the clubs a very hot sweaty feel but in a sexual way. Also many of them incorporate live drummers into the mix, something the Bamboo Room in Schaumburg does with great success. All in all the clubs space is just too big to provide any sense of intimacy with the exception of the glass enclosed VIP room to make it anything other than a better Bar Chicago. Crobar Chicago going for the quintessential mainstream pop success, but with it comes the usual pitfalls of pop, it’s bland.

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