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Suffering through "Charity." |
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Written by MICHAEL JAMES ALLEN
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Wednesday, 04 July 2007 |
Last week marked the first ever Gen Arts Film Festival
in Chicago and I was lucky enough to atten Friday's
festivities. Held at the Piper's Alley AMC--just a
stone's throw away from "Second City" and exuding the
same kind of charm--the festival seemed a relative
success with a packed and enthusiastic house. While
I'm not a fan of the hipster film crowd that usually
attends these types of things, I have to admit their
mood was infectious, and they greeted that night's
main attraction with a huge response, whether it
deserved it or not. Sadly, it did not.
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"Suffering Man's Charity"
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 Entertainment
 Art
Directed by Alan Cumming
Written by Thomas Gallagher
Starring Alan Cumming, David Boreanez, and Anne Heche
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"Suffering Man's Charity" marks the first solo
directing effort from actor Alan Cumming ("X-Men 2,"
"Titus," "Goldeneye") and it is a mess. The main
protagonist is a whiny, unlikeable bastard named
Jonathan Vandermark (Cumming), a closeted homosexual
with a weakness for starving artists, collecting,
nourishing, and lusting after them. His latest pet is
Sebastian (a serviceable David Boreanez), a beefy
trick who is leeching off of John. (Get it?! Trick and
John?! Clever...) Sebastian is also a novelist
apparently, although John's never seen page one of the
thing. After a run-in with one of Sebastian's other
clients--an obnoxious and hideous woman played by
Karen Black in one of those roles where you feel
embarrassed for the actor onscreen--John takes
Sebastian to task in a messy (and lo-o-o-o-o-ng) game
that ends in his death. And then John discovers there
might be a novel after all, and that it might actually
be quite good. And then John decides to take credit
for the work, himself, and is catapulted to fam and
fortune. And then Sebastian's ghost starts haunting
John. And then John moves to New York and finds a new
hustler to support. And then the movie just keeps
going and going and going...
The film is two hours long but feels like four. While
there are well-written and darkly humorous chunks
littered throughout, including the scene involving
John's twisted game of truth-or-dare midway through,
nothing ever adds up to a satisfying whole. Countless
ending points show up and fly by, immediately followed
by yet another ambling scene in which John whines at
the top of his lungs facing directly into a camera
that seems perpetually glued to a tripod. Honestly,
Alan Cumming is either a terrible director or a very
pretentious actor: There are so many scenes of him
talking, none of which move the plot along. In what
could barely be defined as cameos, actresses like
Carrie Fisher, Jane Lynch, and Anne Heche show up in
roles that exist purely to give Cumming and excuse to
keep talking. I don't mean to dump on the poor guy as
he is funny and convincing in the lead role, but he
desperately needs to learn the value of cutting. I
haven't been this restless in a theater since watching
Andy Warhol's "Empire," and that movie is eight hours
long!
If anything, my prevailing thought while watching
"Suffering Man's Charity" was that it should've been a
play and, although not credited as such, I suspect it
might have been in some form or another. In a play you
can get away with interrupting your story for tearful
monologues and acid-filled soliloquies without fear of
an audience going stir crazy. Actually, come to think
of it, you can do that in a film too, but if you do,
it better be a hell of a lot better than this.
NOTE: Despite my negative reaction to the film, I
truly did have a great time at the Gen Arts Film
Festival. Should there be a second annual one next
year, I urge everyone to check it out. It's well worth
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