It’s not that I’m a bad singer, it’s just that, for some reason, singing has always scared me to death. I remember an instance when I was about 11, I was singing in the shower and I heard my dad yell, “Shut that shit off!” Oh, I shut it off alright. I shut that shit off for the next eight years.

And now, here I am only a few hours away from my very first solo singing performance, and I woke up with a sinus headache, a runny nose, and my throat hurts. I’ve been ingesting honey like it’s going out of style and drinking tea like I’m entering a urination contest. To top it off, it’s snowing and I’ve only practiced on my new keyboard once. (For those of you who are following along, I decided to go with the YAMAHA 625 88 key portable grand. It works great for the price I paid and has a lovely keyboard sensitivity.) Why once, you ask? Well, my tiny apartment is filled to the brim with my 6-foot grand piano and there wasn’t any room in here for yet another 88 keys. So I left it at my boyfriend’s house. Ahh, the brilliance of an artist.

Of course, I tried practicing a little bit after a hot shower alleviated some of my headache and made my glands feel more bee-stung than wasp-attacked. And then, my throat started to hurt. Again. So now I’m sitting here wondering what the dick to do? Sing some more, or save it? I learned from watching the singers at school that I could try “marking,” where I sing very lightly just to test the waters. That probably would have been smarter than what I just tried. My only hope that is that I’ll arrive so tired that I won’t give a fuck about who’s in the audience and end up doing a stellar set. Whether or not I pass out afterwards is up to the gods. Wouldn’t that be a memorable performance? Fingers crossed.

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