As it turns out, we were both right.
Within minutes I was mired in pointlessness, or, really, a pointless argument between one familiar, pint-sized bitchy attitude in heels (that would be our Eva, folks) and a hapless ice sculpture-carver (Stephen Root, better known as “the stapler guy” from “Office Space”) over whether or not angels have wings. Mini-Eva (in the movie her name is Kate, but I’d rather call her Mini-Eva, if that’s cool with you) is a Bridezilla in her finest, and wants her ice angel sculpture, along with everything else, to be perfect for her wedding day with Henry (played with the hapless, “what-am-I-doing-here” gaze of Paul Rudd).
As it turns out, Mini-Eva’s argument becomes even more pointless (or ironic? Maybe, I think I’ll have to look up the definition of that word again) when the ice angel sculpture ends up ridiculously crushing her to death on her wedding day.
Mini-Eva soon ends up in a place that appears to be heaven, shown with a stroke of unique creativity as an “empty white room.” With an angel in it. Who doesn’t have wings.
And it’s mostly downhill from there.
The remainder of the movie follows dippy psychic Ashley (Lake Bell), who has been set up by Henry’s sister Chloe (Lindsay Sloane) to “psychically connect” with Mini-Eva and allow Henry to finally move on from her death. As it turns out, once Ashley meets the sweet, dryly-humorous Henry, she plans on doing a little “connecting” of her own. Her plans are foiled when it turns out she actually can see Mini-Eva, and more than that, her new boyfriend’s ex-fiancé is dead set (ha, pun) against the new love match.
So that’s the plot. And admittedly, the film has some good-natured, chick-flick-y moments and quality music montages. It also has some nice comic gags involving overweight dogs and inappropriate bodily functions. But its very premise is flawed, in that the audience simply doesn’t care about Mini-Eva and Henry’s relationship. Mini-Eva, from her very first moment on screen, makes herself out to be a class-A bitch, and it’s inconceivable why Henry was so in love with her in the first place. And considering that she’s such a self-centered pain-in-the-ass as a ghost as well, it’s hard to feel sympathy for her in her quest against the guileless Ashley.
Bell does play a convincing female lead, although her dizzy, clumsy, Drew-Barrymore-with-a-facial-tick persona can alternate between charming and grating. And her relationship with gay best friend/ side-kick Dan (Jason Biggs) seems extraneous.
Henry and Ashley have a little more chemistry, but will these two crazy, haunted kids every work it out? Or will Mini-Eva somehow suck the life force from not only everyone in the movie, but everyone in the audience as well in her attempt to rejoin the land of the living?
Yeah, like I’m going to tell you.
The only advice I have for you is the exact same thing I heard right before the opening credits started to roll on this film:
“This movie doesn’t look very good, but, you know…” only finish it with “I didn’t really have anything better to do now that the writer’s strike has passed the two-month mark.”
Great. Now Eva Longoria Parker is going to stalk me from the beyond. The things I do for you.
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