Guy A falls in love with Girl A, but won't tell her because it's too soon, yet she has been in love with him even before he knew he was in love, but is holding back simply because she doesn't want to say it too soon and scare him off. Crash. Boom. MISTAKE.
Why play games? Why do we as humans have this weird need to play games with those of the opposite sex? Is it some sick, twisted power/control craving? Is it because we are afraid of love? Is it because we are afraid of happiness?
Or maybe, it's because we have to. Maybe the game is necessary. Maybe the drive and desire and determination behind love is what causes us to play this game - the game of love (I know, cheesy).
So, I decided to figure out how to play this game. Of course, just like you, I don't want to just play, but I want to win this game. At some point in my life I want to find Mrs. Perfect for Nick. And maybe by following these rules of love, I can accomplish winning the girl's heart. My friend had the perfect response.
"OK, this is going to sound weird," I said, "but give me five ways a guy can win your heart."
"Ha. That's funny. Makes me laugh," she said.
But, wait, I was being serious. "Come on, help me out."
1) Make me laugh
2) Be honest
3) Don't judge my past or use it against me
"Beyond that, I don't have much more," she said.
But that can't be all. Impossible. It can't be that simple. If that were the case, I would have won this game already - I would be with Mrs. Perfect right now.
So, my friend dug deeper. And this is what she offered - through the wonderful World Wide Web.
Nick, Here is the complete list of Sweet Thang Qualifications (aka Rules for Dating), in no particular order:
1. No pubic hair.
2. Extremely secure and confident, but not cocky at all. (Note: Important, very important. I have a tendency to challenge the confidence levels of the guys I date.)
3. Able to deal with: bull-headed, full-time working, extremely mature, condo-owning, feminist, 23-year-old. (Note: Snap!)
4. Romantic (i.e., wine, roses, lingerie). (Note: I am a fairly low maintenance person, so this is my new plan.)
5. Describe physical appearance as "fine" as in "Damn! That boy fine."
6. Deal with the big ol' fam (RE: unfortunately, "My Big Fat Greek Wedding." Opa!)
7. Not a workaholic / priorities in line (i.e., I'm in top 3, after work and family).
8. No interest in porn or strippers. Qualification: Doesn't have a current subscription to Playboy, or a lifetime membership to any strip clubs.
9. Makes me better / challenges me.
10. No lying; please communicate.
11. No problem kissing drinking me (RE: non-beer drinkers)
12. Cannot live within a two-block radius of me (specifically, not in my building).
So, after reading this, I came to a conclusion. If this is what women want, then I have this game won. I just have prove to a special girl that I have what it takes to make her the happiest woman in the world.
The game continues. Don't hate the playa, hate the game!
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