I figured that with the help of the Biz, I could turn into a white rapper sensation. Unfortunately, I don’t think he believed in my skills, as I tried to come off as cool and collected – but, only got laughs in return.Biz frequently visits Chicago clubs for secret appearances. He said he may be here in the next month, so, keep those eyes and ears pealed for a secret DJin’ experience by the man of the hour, B I Z! Word!
After playing phone tag for several hours, Biz calls
I call you, how come you don’t answer your phone?
I know, I’m too important.
OK.
(Laughs) Naw, I’m just kidding. How are you? What have you been up to?
I’ve been chillin’, man.
Are you in D.C.?
I’m in New York right now.
But your cell phone is from D.C.?
Yeah, I live in Maryland.
Awesome. Well, what are you doing in New York?
I’m just chillin’.
You have to come to Chicago soon so we can chill.
Yeah? I like Chicago. I really like Chicago.
When is the next time you are going to be in town?
Probably next month sometime.
You let me know where you’re going. Wherever you are, I’m there, dude.
I will be there, too.
So, you’re a little prankster, have you done any pranks recently?
Naw, I haven’t done nothing.
Nothing? Come on, man, there’s got to be some crazy stunt pulled by the Biz Markie.
(Laughs) Hold on. Puts me on hold for a minute. Hello?
Hey.
Yeah.
Tell me what life has been like since shedding the lbs on “Celebrity Fit Club”.
Life has been the same. I just have changed the way I’m eatin’.
Are you still shedding the pounds?
Yeah, but I am really getting ready to start shedding them on Monday. I’m getting ready to do a DVD and getting ready to do a book.
So, you are getting hooked up with some great deals after resurging your career, right?
Naw, I would have good deals regardless of “Celebrity Fit Club” or not. I like to take on different challenges.
Was it hard for you to lose the weight?
Naw, it was as easy as changing your diet. Yeah, it’s a lifestyle change. I still get some candies (laughs) here and there, but not like I used to.
It’s cutting the simple things out. I was a big guy. I shed some lbs, too.
Coo. I’m about to lose some more serious weight. I want to get down to 220 or 230.
That would be hot. How are the ladies after losing the weight?
You know. Weight or no weight, the ladies will always be there for me. As long as you have the moves, the ladies will always be there. If you have something about you, the ladies will always be there.
And, the ladies love the Biz.
They love me.
So, if you had to take out a personal ad, what would you say in it?
What do you mean?
If you had to describe yourself in a singles ad in a newspaper, how would you describe yourself?
I’m unpredictable and I’m indisputable (laughs).
(Laughs) So, who’s a better rhymer, you or Humpty Hump?
Skills at what?
Man, don’t put me in no category with no one.
(Laughs) You are a league of your own.
My skills are unorthodox.
So, let’s say you decided to be a white rapper, what would your name be?
Eminem.
Oh, come on, you have to have something better than that.
Oh, no, what I’m sayin’ is I think he is what I would be.
If you were white?
(Laughs) Yeah, he keeps it real.
What’s next for you in your rap career? When’s the next album going to drop?
I don’t know man. I’m just DJin’. When I feel it, I will do another album.
What did you think of ANT on the show?
Huh?
What did you think of ANT?
Oh. ANT was my man. He was cool.
He’s one of my buddies, so, I think you should fire some smack on him.
Oh, yeah, ANTs my man. He is what he is, but he’s cool. He’s real. I like him, he’s a real person. He’s a real man. I can hang out with ANT.
So, let’s play pimp Nick’s style. If I want to be a stylish single stud, how do I do it?
First of all, you have to have some real jewelry with some real clear diamonds.
Uh huh.
Second of all, you have to dress like no one else dresses. Woman loves different.
I can do that. What if I want to go up to a hot girl in da club, what do I say?
Don’t say nothing. Let her read your eyes. I just chill and sit there and let it come to me.
Biz, you my hero.
(Laughs)
So, let’s say you had to do some freestyle about your new friend Nick, what would you say?
My man Nick had a seven foot, hold on a second, hold on hold on. Puts me on hold again. My man Nick had a seven foot (bleep) and he showed it to. Hold on. You ready?
Yeah, man, go ahead.
Naw, it’s a funny one. I don’t want to say it.
(Laughs) Just do it, man. Do funny.
Naw, how about another one.
(Laughs)
My man Nick is like guaranteed. And what all the ladies will see is succeed. He got a good friend named ANT. And, let me tell you what I can’t. Talk about bad about like Nick and ANT, but every time Nick rocks the party he makes the girls pant. You like that right?
(Laughs) That was perfect, can we be friends now?
(Laughs) (Laughs again) (Can’t stop laughing)
Hey, you should do a whole album about me.
I ain’t makin’ an album about a dude.
(Laughs) But, we are friends now, right?
Yeah, we friends, but I ain’t makin’ no album about a dude. You crazy, man.
(Laughs) You make an album about me, and I’ll hook you up with the ladies when you are in Chicago.
Yeah, we’ll see (laughs).
